This article was originally written in June 2007 for the food & drink website Taste T.O., and republished here in October 2011 (but back-dated to match the original publication date) after Taste T.O. was shut down and taken offline.
Much like Canadians, Australians consider beer to be a big part of their national heritage. And as in Canada, the beer that most Aussies raise in honour of their country and culture is, quite frankly, crap.
Oh, sure, they’ve got a good number of small craft breweries making decent stuff, and the family-owned Coopers Brewery has been producing quality ales since 1862. But as in most countries, the beer that is most popular with the patriotic masses is bland, fizzy, pale yellow lager.
(As an aside – despite the fact that it was once heavily touted around the world as the quintessential Australian beer, Foster’s Lager has long been considered a second-string brand in its home country, although it remains popular in the UK and a few other places.)
What makes things a little confusing when it comes to Australian beer is that many breweries use the name “Bitter” for their flagship lager, even though the beers have about as much in common with a proper Bitter as Keith’s IPA has with a proper India Pale Ale. Victoria Bitter is the most well-known recipient this odd nomenclature, with less popular examples including Emu Bitter, Melbourne Bitter, and Castlemaine XXXX Bitter.
This latter beer recently arrived on LCBO shelves under the slightly more accurate name of Castlemaine XXXX Export Gold (LCBO 676742, $11.50/6×375 mL). Knowing what I do about mainstream Aussie lagers (or for that matter, mainstream lagers in general), I wasn’t about to invest in a sixer of this stuff, but when I found a loose can in the singles bin of my local LCBO, I figured it was worth a couple of bucks to give it a shot.
Well, it certainly lived down to my low expectations. It pours a very pale gold colour with a tiny white head that disappears in a flash. The aroma holds notes of cardboard and canned veggies, with a hint of something vaguely hop-like. The body is both fizzy and cloying, an very odd and disconcerting combination, and the flavour combines elements of icing sugar, more cardboard and canned corn. The finish is thankfully short and clean, aside from a faint saltiness that is just bizarre.
Aside from homesick Australians with bad taste in beer, I can’t imagine anyone enjoying this chunder from Down Under. Personally, I’ll be sticking with the always enjoyable Coopers Sparkling Ale for my Aussie beer needs – at least until the LCBO delists it to make room for another crappy canned lager like Castlemaine.
